The Struggle is Real...but you got to trust it.

It’s 3:30 am and my alarm goes off. What’s normally the sound of an annoying beeping noise has been replaced by the Taylor Swift song Fearless. Normally I would hit the snooze button 5 times without thinking, but the fact that this song replaced my normal beeping and I don’t remember setting it caught my attention. I am headed to Pittsburgh this morning for the Team Beachbody Super Saturday. For those of you who don’t know, Super Saturday is a quarterly meeting of Beachbody coaches to learn all things Shaun T and Shakeology…basically keep us up to date with the new happenings in the company. I usually host my own in Boston, but this Super Saturday is special. My coach was just announced as the top coach in the company for the second year in a row which makes us the top team in the company…this is cause for celebration. CEO Carl Daikeler, Autumn Calabrese from the 21 DayFix, and lots of our team members will be in attendance, so I decided to take the short flight at the crack ass of dawn to celebrate down in the Burgh for the weekend.

I speak a lot about how Beachbody has changed my life. How I went from feeling depressed, full of anxiety, and crippled by low self confidence to living happily and healthily. Normally an event like this would bring me great joy and excitement, which it is, today I can’t help but notice something else going on within me. I wrote recently about some inner struggle and turmoil I had been feeling, and how I plan to travel over the next few weeks and really get to the bottom of what is bothering me. Today is no different. Although I am excited to see old friends, leaders that I look up to, and party with my team…I just can’t seem to kick the feeling that I need to figure something out. I can't help but think that the feeling I have in my gut is fear of some sort...but fear of what? Fear is something I talk about on the daily...facing it...being fearless...but what do you do if you have no idea what it is that you are afraid of? And then I remembered the song that woke me up this morning. Fearless. Being fearless is not the absence of fear, but feeling fear and doing it anyway. In my case it's feeling the fear, and doing everything in my power to figure out what that fear is so that I can face it. 

There I sat, staring out the window of the plane, brain still asleep, when 18 year old Daphne sat next to me. I made some random joke to break the ice and right away she told me how relieved she was to be sitting next to me. We spent the majority of the flight discussing life, food, politics (mainly Donald Trump), social media, and her love of theater and literature. That is when I realized that the entire time I was conversing with this young stranger I felt excited and relieved from the inner turmoil that has been nagging me. I had a small glimpse of what is to come in the next couple weeks, and for that moment it all felt right.

My new friend Daphne

So now here I am in Pittsburgh writing a quick post before I nap so I can enjoy my team this evening. I'm feeling just a slight bit of relief. Relieved and excited for what is to come, and trusting that there is a greater plan. 

"When I look into the future it's so bright it burns my eyes." Oprah Winfrey 


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